








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 35 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




109 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1876 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,777 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1718 | 45% |
| Smokes | 668 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 623 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 768 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,063,116 of utility $233 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1792 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kasvatti☆ | 72% | 39 |
| #2 | Andrew | 65% | 62 |
| #3 | baquete | 60% | 58 |
| #4 | Mez | 59% | 66 |
| #5 | Jar Jar Dinks | 52% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | baquete | 32 | 0.0298 |
| #2 | Jar Jar Dinks | 14 | 0.0107 |
| #3 | Mez | 13 | 0.0104 |
| #4 | McGoo | 11 | 0.0206 |
| #5 | kasvatti☆ | 8 | 0.0106 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andrew | 247 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #2 | Jar Jar Dinks | 157 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | baquete | 146 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | kasvatti☆ | 94 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | McGoo | 84 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mez | +3.69 | 77 | 29 |
| #2 | kasvatti☆ | +3.52 | 72 | 64 |
| #3 | ★ dak | +3.19 | 77 | 65 |
| #4 | Andrew | +2.79 | 74 | 69 |
| #5 | baquete | +2.16 | 81 | 45 |





