








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 88 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
815 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,811 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 659 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1414 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 860 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 878 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $481,115 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 78 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thyge | 56% | 18 |
| #2 | Rake ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ ✪ | 42% | 19 |
| #3 | Peabush | 39% | 93 |
| #4 | McDevil | 36% | 116 |
| #5 | Unos | 35% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | McDevil | 36% | 116 |
| #5 | Unos | 35% | 77 |
| #6 | ✫ RubberDuck ✫ | 32% | 102 |
| #7 | GrantlanD | 32% | 38 |
| #8 | TJALFE | 20% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Peabush | 7 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Unos | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | ✫ RubberDuck ✫ | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | McDevil | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | thyge | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Peabush | 441 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #2 | McDevil | 440 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #3 | Unos | 148 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | ✫ RubberDuck ✫ | 52 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | TJALFE | 51 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Peabush | +6.74 | 77 | 62 |
| #2 | TJALFE | +3.55 | 70 | 65 |
| #3 | Rake ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ ✪ | +1.01 | 47 | 62 |
| #4 | thyge | +0.85 | 40 | 46 |
| #5 | GrantlanD | +0.81 | 52 | 66 |





