








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 395 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 67 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2375 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,116 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3283 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3177 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1966 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1690 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $286,344 of utility $59 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 294 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☣FrisbyZcooked☣™ | 68% | 62 |
| #2 | ☣Thalawes☣™ | 64% | 14 |
| #3 | CoolkidUK | 58% | 71 |
| #4 | Malagar | 55% | 85 |
| #5 | Kenny | 54% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Unos | 43% | 63 |
| #9 | ✫ RubberDuck ✫ | 41% | 88 |
| #10 | Pikmin | 40% | 25 |
| #11 | Uni-Corn | 39% | 93 |
| #12 | GrantlanD | 30% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Malagar | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Unos | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | ✫ RubberDuck ✫ | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | ☣FrisbyZcooked☣™ | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Uni-Corn | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | McDevil | 355 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #2 | Unos | 139 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | ☣FrisbyZcooked☣™ | 128 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | Malagar | 100 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Uni-Corn | 68 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Peabush | +6.00 | 75 | 63 |
| #2 | ☣FrisbyZcooked☣™ | +2.81 | 83 | 58 |
| #3 | GrantlanD | +0.65 | 53 | 64 |
| #4 | Malagar | -0.39 | 33 | 43 |
| #5 | McDevil | -1.07 | 13 | 80 |





