










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 120 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
601 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,605 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 915 | 20% |
| Smokes | 981 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1280 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1429 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $148,096 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 647 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rake ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ ✪ | 43% | 7 |
| #2 | Peabush | 43% | 63 |
| #3 | McDevil | 38% | 80 |
| #4 | ✫ RubberDuck ✫ | 35% | 74 |
| #5 | Uni-Corn | 35% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ✫ RubberDuck ✫ | 35% | 74 |
| #5 | Uni-Corn | 35% | 77 |
| #6 | thyge | 33% | 6 |
| #7 | GrantlanD | 32% | 19 |
| #8 | TJALFE | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Peabush | 7 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | Uni-Corn | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | McDevil | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | ✫ RubberDuck ✫ | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | McDevil | 309 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #2 | Peabush | 295 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #3 | Uni-Corn | 65 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | ✫ RubberDuck ✫ | 42 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | TJALFE | 33 | 0.24 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Peabush | +6.98 | 78 | 58 |
| #2 | TJALFE | +5.52 | 74 | 61 |
| #3 | Rake ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ ✪ | +2.76 | 42 | 64 |
| #4 | GrantlanD | +2.15 | 52 | 69 |
| #5 | thyge | -1.16 | 36 | 60 |





