








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 633 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 796 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




77 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9093 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,108 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2249 | 11% |
| Smokes | 4740 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 6924 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 6195 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,968,545 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 772 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★★Meta_Zelot★★ | 57% | 76 |
| #2 | Rambro | 51% | 149 |
| #3 | DUDE!?! #105 | 48% | 136 |
| #4 | DandeLion | 47% | 59 |
| #5 | TheVDG767 | 47% | 188 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥ Bitch Please ♥ | 26 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Rambro | 14 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | TheVDG767 | 11 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Raven | 10 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | ★★Meta_Zelot★★ | 8 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Bitchin Wizard | +3.13 | 59 | 53 |
| #2 | 0verdr1ve#105 | +2.40 | 53 | 37 |
| #3 | DandeLion | +2.29 | 56 | 36 |
| #4 | Rambro | +1.79 | 57 | 63 |
| #5 | Ghiellie | +1.78 | 64 | 32 |





