








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 194 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 180 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2778 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,499 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2126 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1062 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 2776 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 1535 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,362,131 of utility $242 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 238 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lyngsøe | 61% | 18 |
| #2 | ÙwÚ | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | Juelz | 49% | 232 |
| #4 | DinoGirl | 47% | 19 |
| #5 | R3MA 1000 | 47% | 253 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | DinoGirl | 47% | 19 |
| #5 | R3MA 1000 | 47% | 253 |
| #6 | Mugski | 42% | 137 |
| #7 | Sad Fat Man | 32% | 34 |
| #8 | Stenfeldt | 31% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R3MA 1000 | 13 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Juelz | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Sad Fat Man | 3 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | Lyngsøe | 3 | 0.0077 |
| #5 | Mugski | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juelz | 452 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #2 | R3MA 1000 | 145 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| #3 | Stenfeldt | 115 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | Sad Fat Man | 53 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | DinoGirl | 34 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juelz | +5.69 | 83 | 72 |
| #2 | ÙwÚ | +5.36 | 63 | 62 |
| #3 | etot owner leetify | +2.31 | 64 | 69 |
| #4 | Sad Fat Man | +1.45 | 53 | 53 |
| #5 | Stenfeldt | +0.43 | 82 | 70 |





