








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1052 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 570 matches | ||
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 139 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5992 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,162 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9967 | 34% |
| Smokes | 7239 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 7261 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4695 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,882,514 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 593 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Snackie | 54% | 197 |
| #8 | Gung | 53% | 239 |
| #9 | ☆SAU3R☆ | 52% | 497 |
| #10 | Jens_Viktor | 52% | 52 |
| #11 | Juelz | 29% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☆SAU3R☆ | 869 | 0.08 | 25 min |
| #2 | Snackie | 393 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #3 | Gung | 354 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #4 | Jens_Viktor | 213 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #5 | Trane | 176 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | H0lm | +2.84 | 80 | 62 |
| #2 | Mr. Teabag | +2.82 | 73 | 73 |
| #3 | Juelz | +2.59 | 79 | 65 |
| #4 | Trane | +2.43 | 66 | 61 |
| #5 | Stenfeldt | +1.43 | 80 | 75 |





