








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 391 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 149 matches | ||
| Esplay | 35 matches | 1,698 | |
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2646 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,857 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2384 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2467 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1995 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3011 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,011,498 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 68 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Redz™Audi | 61% | 18 |
| #2 | dyktig | 60% | 30 |
| #3 | ReborN^ mp3 | 56% | 36 |
| #4 | Sikh Flodeeey | 52% | 29 |
| #5 | D4rkLeSs | 51% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | hens0 | 45% | 198 |
| #12 | Salat[NOR] | 40% | 50 |
| #13 | SolenYa | 35% | 23 |
| #14 | THRASH | 33% | 27 |
| #15 | Rizla | 25% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hens0 | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | D4rkLeSs | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | dyktig | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Sikh Flodeeey | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | SolenYa | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hens0 | 925 | 0.22 | 25 min |
| #2 | dyktig | 139 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #3 | SolenYa | 82 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #4 | Sikh Flodeeey | 69 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | D4rkLeSs | 52 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dyktig | +5.71 | 83 | 82 |
| #2 | OftedaL | +2.93 | 79 | 61 |
| #3 | Redz™Audi | +2.20 | 91 | 37 |
| #4 | Happyshit! | +0.89 | 63 | 65 |
| #5 | Mantipanti | +0.69 | 77 | 59 |





