








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 199 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 165 matches | ||
| Esplay | 11 matches | 1,744 | |
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2377 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,811 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4027 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3774 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3075 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2935 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $337,799 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Salat[NOR] | 40% | 43 |
| #12 | Mantipanti | 38% | 16 |
| #13 | THRASH | 36% | 25 |
| #14 | BB | Kiddinho | 33% | 18 |
| #15 | Kjendiss! | 33% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ElisA^ | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | D4rkLeSs | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Sikh Flodeeey | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | dyktig | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | SolenYa | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ElisA^ | 344 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #2 | dyktig | 125 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #3 | SolenYa | 70 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | Sikh Flodeeey | 69 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | BB | Kiddinho | 49 | 0.11 | 1 min |





