








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 51 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3231 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,863 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2704 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1796 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2016 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1347 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $556,565 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 105 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baked | 75% | 20 |
| #2 | Jaden007mi5 | 71% | 38 |
| #3 | ππ½πΈπΆπ²π΄ | 61% | 137 |
| #4 | KILLER101KLK | 50% | 30 |
| #5 | Juice | 48% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Jaden007mi5 | 71% | 38 |
| #3 | ππ½πΈπΆπ²π΄ | 61% | 137 |
| #4 | KILLER101KLK | 50% | 30 |
| #5 | Juice | 48% | 25 |
| #6 | Vanillafrogman | 42% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaden007mi5 | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | ππ½πΈπΆπ²π΄ | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #3 | Vanillafrogman | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Juice | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Baked | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ππ½πΈπΆπ²π΄ | 302 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #2 | Jaden007mi5 | 144 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #3 | KILLER101KLK | 143 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #4 | Vanillafrogman | 134 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | Juice | 40 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaden007mi5 | +2.43 | 66 | 49 |
| #2 | Baked | +2.36 | 71 | 33 |
| #3 | Juice | +1.46 | 86 | 71 |
| #4 | ππ½πΈπΆπ²π΄ | +1.14 | 83 | 54 |
| #5 | Ricochet | +0.98 | 70 | 52 |





