








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 30 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
626 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,801 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 479 | 27% |
| Smokes | 394 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 550 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 378 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $131,543 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Stephen Curry | 44% | 39 |
| #11 | Lepi | 40% | 5 |
| #12 | Pele | 38% | 13 |
| #13 | Syötiin+Hymyiltiin | 36% | 14 |
| #14 | jammala | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jolan;b | 7 | 0.0232 |
| #2 | matku | 6 | 0.0104 |
| #3 | Stephen Curry | 3 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Redyz ^_^ | 2 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | Syötiin+Hymyiltiin | 2 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | matku | 122 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #2 | Stephen Curry | 64 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | Syötiin+Hymyiltiin | 46 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | jammala | 35 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #5 | Redyz ^_^ | 27 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zei | +4.11 | 93 | 51 |
| #2 | Redyz ^_^ | +3.47 | 89 | 42 |
| #3 | SKRT | +3.27 | 95 | 59 |
| #4 | Syötiin+Hymyiltiin | +2.40 | 75 | 55 |
| #5 | NIXU | +2.39 | 78 | 64 |





