








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 419 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 151 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2782 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,537 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2625 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1700 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2270 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1942 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $900,238 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 71 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Pele | 52% | 162 |
| #4 | robson | 50% | 108 |
| #5 | sampan märkä päiväuni | 46% | 61 |
| #6 | Herd | 43% | 47 |
| #7 | 66 | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jammala | 13 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | sampan märkä päiväuni | 12 | 0.0089 |
| #3 | Pele | 10 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | robson | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | 66 | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jammala | 883 | 0.22 | 23 min |
| #2 | robson | 267 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | sampan märkä päiväuni | 137 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | Pele | 134 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | Herd | 43 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Syötiin+Hymyiltiin | +1.24 | 77 | 63 |
| #2 | Pele | +0.94 | 76 | 49 |
| #3 | 66 | +0.31 | 67 | 49 |
| #4 | jammala | -0.15 | 68 | 77 |
| #5 | robson | -0.34 | 71 | 54 |





