








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 119 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1684 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,153 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1212 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1267 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1652 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1022 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $931,931 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | foour | 45% | 58 |
| #5 | Lucy | 44% | 217 |
| #6 | Nwah M8 | 41% | 59 |
| #7 | THE LOATHSOME DUNG EATER | 41% | 143 |
| #8 | Gray | 34% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lucy | 18 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | THE LOATHSOME DUNG EATER | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Nwah M8 | 6 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | Gray | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | comesaveher | 4 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | comesaveher | 587 | 0.24 | 18 min |
| #2 | Lucy | 361 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #3 | manicorns | 159 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | THE LOATHSOME DUNG EATER | 150 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | Nwah M8 | 130 | 0.10 | 3 min |





