








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 375 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 220 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4204 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,018 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3046 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4651 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3998 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2323 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,881,323 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 183 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | comesaveher | 18 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Nwah M8 | 17 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Gray | 12 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | THE LOATHSOME DUNG EATER | 11 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | manicorns | 7 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | comesaveher | 1007 | 0.25 | 31 min |
| #2 | manicorns | 505 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #3 | Nwah M8 | 379 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #4 | foour | 345 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #5 | THE LOATHSOME DUNG EATER | 300 | 0.06 | 8 min |





