








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 124 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1171 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,553 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2057 | 45% |
| Smokes | 1328 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 641 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 527 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $347,368 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Matt the Radar Chef | 75% | 20 |
| #2 | yommt | 67% | 15 |
| #3 | Gwop | 57% | 28 |
| #4 | Kevinzback | 54% | 28 |
| #5 | donggobbler10000 OutTheMud | 54% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Berry | 50% | 94 |
| #7 | Charels | 47% | 116 |
| #8 | Vince | 42% | 57 |
| #9 | Frames | 41% | 54 |
| #10 | Tpc | 37% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tpc | 6 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | Charels | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Vince | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Kevinzback | 3 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | Berry | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Charels | 539 | 0.22 | 14 min |
| #2 | Berry | 231 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | Vince | 197 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | Frames | 150 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | Tpc | 136 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frames | +1.87 | 79 | 56 |
| #2 | Kevinzback | +1.33 | 85 | 62 |
| #3 | donggobbler10000 OutTheMud | +1.27 | 75 | 57 |
| #4 | yommt | +0.65 | 81 | 57 |
| #5 | Gwop | +0.16 | 56 | 59 |





