








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 50 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 126 matches | ||
| Faceit | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3288 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,251 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2778 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2365 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1837 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2271 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $778,770 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sigma Aldrich | 74% | 19 |
| #2 | キラ・ヤマト | 61% | 88 |
| #3 | kevinryt | 59% | 162 |
| #4 | Titor | 55% | 85 |
| #5 | Rex | 52% | 227 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sora Ginko | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | kevinryt | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Saekano | 5 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | Rex | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | TUBA | 3 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rex | 1226 | 0.26 | 25 min |
| #2 | Sora Ginko | 1080 | 0.23 | 20 min |
| #3 | kevinryt | 553 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #4 | 犬井いぬい | 309 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #5 | Titor | 247 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | チルノ | +4.34 | 82 | 59 |
| #2 | Sigma Aldrich | +3.69 | 83 | 43 |
| #3 | 犬井いぬい | +2.02 | 75 | 54 |
| #4 | kevinryt | +0.79 | 67 | 61 |
| #5 | Titor | -0.13 | 69 | 56 |





