








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 61 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1039 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,564 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 772 | 22% |
| Smokes | 763 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1170 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 859 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $295,401 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 50 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ><(('> meng ♫ | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | ヤマカシ | 83% | 6 |
| #3 | Majo | 73% | 11 |
| #4 | Lazy | 68% | 38 |
| #5 | J A Y J E R I N O | 65% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | *Larry 'B1rd | 222 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #2 | Lazy | 188 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #3 | J A Y J E R I N O | 80 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Majo | 55 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #5 | ヤマカシ | 45 | 0.30 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J A Y J E R I N O | +3.54 | 82 | 60 |
| #2 | ヤマカシ | +3.09 | 66 | 77 |
| #3 | ><(('> meng ♫ | +2.58 | 88 | 63 |
| #4 | Majo | +2.40 | 57 | 82 |
| #5 | *Larry 'B1rd | +2.11 | 60 | 64 |





