








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 65 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 102 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1428 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,039 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1843 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1377 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1168 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 651 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $255,995 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 271 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | TheTinyPandah | 44% | 43 |
| #11 | I have Candy in my van | 40% | 20 |
| #12 | jibb xtra | 40% | 25 |
| #13 | The Coffee Cup | 35% | 26 |
| #14 | LoliCumDump | 34% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stoner Jase | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | TheTinyPandah | 4 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | m0tch | 4 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | Prison Mike | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | I have Candy in my van | 2 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stoner Jase | 205 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #2 | m0tch | 136 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | Jack | 99 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | TheTinyPandah | 79 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | The Coffee Cup | 67 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheTinyPandah | +4.91 | 87 | 44 |
| #2 | JericoCane | +3.17 | 50 | 72 |
| #3 | LoliCumDump | +2.01 | 81 | 42 |
| #4 | Nafe. | +1.79 | 52 | 55 |
| #5 | jibb xtra | +0.47 | 60 | 63 |





