








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
794 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,491 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 533 | 12% |
| Smokes | 476 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 1829 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 1653 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $411,843 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 42 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nafe. | 58% | 53 |
| #2 | Paggen | 50% | 22 |
| #3 | TheTinyPandah | 50% | 42 |
| #4 | TitanAries | 44% | 9 |
| #5 | Stoner Jase | 44% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m0tch | 6 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Stoner Jase | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | TheTinyPandah | 4 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | Jack | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | The Coffee Cup | 3 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m0tch | 250 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | Stoner Jase | 212 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | Jack | 121 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Nafe. | 112 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | The Coffee Cup | 85 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheTinyPandah | +7.17 | 77 | 57 |
| #2 | Nafe. | +3.08 | 50 | 56 |
| #3 | LoliCumDump | +1.77 | 74 | 60 |
| #4 | Paggen | +1.28 | 58 | 60 |
| #5 | jibb xtra | +1.22 | 62 | 63 |





