








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 74 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
591 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 880 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 131 | 15% |
| Smokes | 150 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 479 | 54% |
| Molotovs | 120 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $442,387 of utility $360 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 269 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hunter | 60% | 30 |
| #2 | qtz | 53% | 17 |
| #3 | TrevorLahey69 | 52% | 23 |
| #4 | Bekker | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | Stoeckel | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hunter | 60% | 30 |
| #2 | qtz | 53% | 17 |
| #3 | TrevorLahey69 | 52% | 23 |
| #4 | Bekker | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | Stoeckel | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stoeckel | 11 | 0.0345 |
| #2 | Hunter | 7 | 0.0119 |
| #3 | TrevorLahey69 | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bekker | 84 | 0.33 | 1 min |
| #2 | qtz | 78 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #3 | TrevorLahey69 | 64 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | Hunter | 43 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Stoeckel | 27 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hunter | +3.86 | 73 | 63 |
| #2 | Stoeckel | +1.27 | 86 | 10 |
| #3 | TrevorLahey69 | +0.70 | 79 | 56 |
| #4 | Alpaca | -0.45 | 67 | 40 |
| #5 | qtz | -1.03 | 11 | 66 |





