










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 361 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1182 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,537 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 348 | 23% |
| Smokes | 142 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 479 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 568 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $436,393 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1071 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hunter | 56% | 32 |
| #2 | Holm | 48% | 29 |
| #3 | Alpaca | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hunter | 56% | 32 |
| #2 | Holm | 48% | 29 |
| #3 | Alpaca | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alpaca | 15 | 0.0478 |
| #2 | Hunter | 6 | 0.0104 |
| #3 | Holm | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hunter | 36 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #2 | Holm | 19 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #3 | Alpaca | 17 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hunter | +5.76 | 76 | 59 |
| #2 | Stoeckel | +2.57 | 88 | 28 |
| #3 | Holm | -1.25 | 59 | 34 |
| #4 | Alpaca | -1.68 | 68 | 26 |





