








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 414 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 146 matches | ||
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2772 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,537 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1695 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3024 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1962 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1856 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,095,160 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 258 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | R42 (REISKA) | 40% | 25 |
| #14 | Saphire | 38% | 21 |
| #15 | JoL | 33% | 27 |
| #16 | Jonezki | 32% | 19 |
| #17 | inrain | 24% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Antsa | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | R42 (REISKA) | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | RockyFIN | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Saphire | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | kOLiNA | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bamsuli | 109 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #2 | R42 (REISKA) | 106 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #3 | Scorbutus | 98 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | ProPottu | 93 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Antsa | 90 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bamsuli | +1.96 | 61 | 67 |
| #2 | Noweri | +1.57 | 71 | 61 |
| #3 | kOLiNA | +1.39 | 79 | 73 |
| #4 | JoL | +0.73 | 72 | 59 |
| #5 | Scorbutus | +0.42 | 73 | 68 |





