








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 700 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 403 matches | ||
| Premier | 142 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Renown | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 89 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4966 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 38,381 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12004 | 31% |
| Smokes | 8977 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 9032 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 8368 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $969,359 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 51 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #19 | Bamsuli | 42% | 38 |
| #20 | RockyFIN | 41% | 51 |
| #21 | Beasty | 40% | 43 |
| #22 | ThNdz | 39% | 33 |
| #23 | Jonezki | 36% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Antsa | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | ♥ ✌ JoNiB✌ ♥ | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Mr:Weed | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | RockyFIN | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | snag | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fukmysushi | +3.67 | 76 | 70 |
| #2 | Bamsuli | +3.28 | 62 | 76 |
| #3 | Irzi | +2.20 | 57 | 60 |
| #4 | beNji | +1.81 | 69 | 60 |
| #5 | ThNdz | +1.53 | 50 | 83 |





