








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 477 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 183 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 59 matches | ||
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3252 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,344 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4594 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3895 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3347 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2508 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,072,227 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 138 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Amorph | 65% | 23 |
| #2 | pickemgot(t)me | 54% | 158 |
| #3 | Kräuter Kühni | 51% | 110 |
| #4 | Liomnat0r | 51% | 165 |
| #5 | kingdom.29953 | 49% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | kolalabaer | 46% | 54 |
| #10 | Richti | 46% | 89 |
| #11 | k4rpy | 44% | 276 |
| #12 | AWPortunity | 39% | 102 |
| #13 | Tavary | 38% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k4rpy | 19 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | pickemgot(t)me | 16 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | Liomnat0r | 15 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | kingdom.29953 | 4 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | AWPortunity | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Liomnat0r | 1010 | 0.31 | 25 min |
| #2 | k4rpy | 721 | 0.13 | 19 min |
| #3 | pickemgot(t)me | 668 | 0.21 | 15 min |
| #4 | Kräuter Kühni | 416 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #5 | Richti | 313 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Amorph | +2.93 | 69 | 71 |
| #2 | pickemgot(t)me | +2.84 | 79 | 56 |
| #3 | Liomnat0r | +2.27 | 61 | 73 |
| #4 | Richti | +0.64 | 56 | 63 |
| #5 | ⓂⒶⓃⒾ | +0.46 | 59 | 66 |





