








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 208 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2816 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,737 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1797 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1229 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2317 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1394 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $599,836 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fistful of Shit | 55% | 105 |
| #2 | Lil Brioche | 53% | 136 |
| #3 | Spooky | 53% | 55 |
| #4 | wretch | 52% | 219 |
| #5 | JackofAllTradez | 50% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Lil Brioche | 53% | 136 |
| #3 | Spooky | 53% | 55 |
| #4 | wretch | 52% | 219 |
| #5 | JackofAllTradez | 50% | 66 |
| #6 | Jammidodger | 49% | 181 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wretch | 13 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Jammidodger | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Spooky | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Fistful of Shit | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | JackofAllTradez | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fistful of Shit | 452 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #2 | Lil Brioche | 331 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #3 | Jammidodger | 248 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #4 | wretch | 225 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #5 | Spooky | 87 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spooky | +2.04 | 79 | 47 |
| #2 | DocBrodo | +0.99 | 78 | 59 |
| #3 | JackofAllTradez | +0.28 | 67 | 57 |
| #4 | Fistful of Shit | -0.16 | 72 | 65 |
| #5 | wretch | -0.51 | 61 | 44 |





