








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 136 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 387 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4515 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,152 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1575 | 11% |
| Smokes | 5635 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 3566 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3376 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,687,298 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 156 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JVAM | 59% | 61 |
| #2 | Dave170 | 53% | 274 |
| #3 | Dyno | 51% | 134 |
| #4 | DocBrodo | 50% | 66 |
| #5 | Spooky | 48% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Lil Brioche | 47% | 196 |
| #8 | [LDT] EarthwormEd | 46% | 41 |
| #9 | Jammidodger | 46% | 93 |
| #10 | wretch | 40% | 131 |
| #11 | Fistful of Shit | 31% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dave170 | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | wretch | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Lil Brioche | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Jammidodger | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Fell | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lil Brioche | 560 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #2 | Dave170 | 531 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #3 | Fell | 206 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | Fistful of Shit | 194 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #5 | JVAM | 143 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [LDT] EarthwormEd | +2.45 | 76 | 80 |
| #2 | Spooky | +1.68 | 80 | 47 |
| #3 | JVAM | +1.57 | 69 | 72 |
| #4 | JackofAllTradez | +1.09 | 67 | 57 |
| #5 | DocBrodo | +1.08 | 80 | 60 |





