








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 780 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 512 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4789 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,095 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6337 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4970 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 8363 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 6425 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,340,400 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 547 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SamUL | 56% | 50 |
| #2 | Good Guy Nick | 52% | 116 |
| #3 | Jot | 52% | 89 |
| #4 | 有趣的中国人 | 50% | 141 |
| #5 | The Business | 49% | 514 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Jot | 52% | 89 |
| #4 | 有趣的中国人 | 50% | 141 |
| #5 | The Business | 49% | 514 |
| #6 | computerduster | 48% | 44 |
| #7 | Android18 | 46% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Business | 41 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | 有趣的中国人 | 24 | 0.0082 |
| #3 | Good Guy Nick | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | computerduster | 5 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | Android18 | 4 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Business | 1281 | 0.12 | 32 min |
| #2 | Jot | 513 | 0.26 | 15 min |
| #3 | Android18 | 352 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #4 | 有趣的中国人 | 259 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | Good Guy Nick | 236 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Android18 | +2.65 | 74 | 65 |
| #2 | Jot | +1.68 | 67 | 76 |
| #3 | computerduster | +0.47 | 67 | 58 |
| #4 | 有趣的中国人 | +0.32 | 78 | 53 |
| #5 | The Business | -0.25 | 42 | 65 |





