








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 273 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 142 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4356 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,919 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3258 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2448 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2824 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3389 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,680,751 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 有趣的中国人 | 66% | 38 |
| #2 | mick | 57% | 170 |
| #3 | 🌧probably dead☁ | 56% | 75 |
| #4 | computerduster | 56% | 79 |
| #5 | Android18 | 54% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mick | 553 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #2 | The Business | 437 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #3 | уaкoъ | 353 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #4 | 🌧probably dead☁ | 301 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #5 | Android18 | 224 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mick | +4.40 | 63 | 62 |
| #2 | Android18 | +3.79 | 74 | 61 |
| #3 | 🌧probably dead☁ | +0.79 | 73 | 71 |
| #4 | computerduster | +0.70 | 69 | 59 |
| #5 | Good Guy Nick | +0.57 | 65 | 52 |





