








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 20 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 107 matches | ||
| Premier | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3238 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,846 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2208 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2273 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2131 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2234 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $798,575 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Koslap | 71% | 99 |
| #2 | BudFly | 65% | 129 |
| #3 | i will go to bed before 12 | 64% | 56 |
| #4 | Logykz | 63% | 51 |
| #5 | eazy | 60% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Koslap | 71% | 99 |
| #2 | BudFly | 65% | 129 |
| #3 | i will go to bed before 12 | 64% | 56 |
| #4 | Logykz | 63% | 51 |
| #5 | eazy | 60% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Koslap | 7 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | i will go to bed before 12 | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | eazy | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | BudFly | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Logykz | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BudFly | 646 | 0.24 | 16 min |
| #2 | Koslap | 343 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #3 | eazy | 206 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | Logykz | 103 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | i will go to bed before 12 | 30 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BudFly | +3.24 | 92 | 70 |
| #2 | mick | +2.31 | 85 | 60 |
| #3 | Koslap | +1.78 | 83 | 59 |
| #4 | Logykz | -1.49 | 82 | 61 |
| #5 | eazy | -1.55 | 72 | 54 |





