








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1422 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 254 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6382 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,813 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4995 | 32% |
| Smokes | 4524 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2031 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 4263 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,221,591 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 194 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NBT | 8 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | A Shrouded Figure | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Schism | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Speedy | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | -md | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NBT | 1185 | 0.14 | 27 min |
| #2 | A Shrouded Figure | 328 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | -md | 295 | 0.29 | 8 min |
| #4 | mongerz | 185 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #5 | Speedy | 167 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | εl 𝖋uεgo | +6.67 | 87 | 72 |
| #2 | -md | +1.85 | 75 | 73 |
| #3 | mongerz | +1.64 | 82 | 67 |
| #4 | A Shrouded Figure | +1.23 | 68 | 56 |
| #5 | PaPah[a]tch | +0.36 | 69 | 72 |





