








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 641 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 97 matches | ||
| Premier | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2589 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,077 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2600 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2500 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1862 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2115 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $832,149 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 991 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | postino | 86% | 14 |
| #2 | dudley | 82% | 17 |
| #3 | xoxo | 81% | 26 |
| #4 | ILPARO | 79% | 14 |
| #5 | North-k | 73% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | North-k | 73% | 40 |
| #6 | Luke | 71% | 76 |
| #7 | at1picaL❤ | 71% | 65 |
| #8 | Goalie | 65% | 48 |
| #9 | Lanzettis☁ | 57% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goalie | 10 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | North-k | 8 | 0.0093 |
| #3 | dudley | 3 | 0.0078 |
| #4 | Luke | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | at1picaL❤ | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luke | 380 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #2 | at1picaL❤ | 180 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | North-k | 98 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Lanzettis☁ | 95 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Goalie | 95 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | at1picaL❤ | +3.60 | 88 | 64 |
| #2 | Luke | +3.52 | 85 | 66 |
| #3 | TheLegend | +3.15 | 78 | 56 |
| #4 | xoxo | +1.64 | 81 | 61 |
| #5 | postino | +0.89 | 87 | 62 |





