








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 53 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
389 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,319 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 249 | 19% |
| Smokes | 274 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 450 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 346 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $267,756 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | at1picaL❤ | 100% | 6 |
| #2 | Goalie | 83% | 6 |
| #3 | IceTea | 60% | 5 |
| #4 | TheLegend | 57% | 53 |
| #5 | Bugs | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Bugs | 40% | 5 |
| #6 | Toxicity | 40% | 10 |
| #7 | Bug bunny | 38% | 8 |
| #8 | _WeNdigo | 33% | 9 |
| #9 | Weirdoman | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheLegend | 16 | 0.0147 |
| #2 | Goalie | 5 | 0.0439 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheLegend | 175 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #2 | Toxicity | 40 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #3 | _WeNdigo | 23 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #4 | Bug bunny | 22 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #5 | Bugs | 15 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | at1picaL❤ | +7.72 | 91 | 44 |
| #2 | TheLegend | +5.05 | 81 | 50 |
| #3 | Goalie | +3.28 | 91 | 40 |
| #4 | _WeNdigo | +1.61 | 73 | 53 |
| #5 | Bug bunny | +1.14 | 53 | 64 |





