








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 42 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
839 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,213 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 381 | 31% |
| Smokes | 275 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 412 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 145 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $279,880 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jhaymoon019 | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | Construction Site ASMR | 55% | 77 |
| #3 | Copano Rickey | 52% | 33 |
| #4 | Kim Karrigan | 48% | 31 |
| #5 | mikanJuice | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Construction Site ASMR | 55% | 77 |
| #3 | Copano Rickey | 52% | 33 |
| #4 | Kim Karrigan | 48% | 31 |
| #5 | mikanJuice | 29% | 7 |
| #6 | ♪Eveemaster♪ | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Copano Rickey | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | jhaymoon019 | 2 | 0.0090 |
| #3 | Kim Karrigan | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | mikanJuice | 1 | 0.0078 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Construction Site ASMR | 176 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | Kim Karrigan | 78 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | Copano Rickey | 48 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | jhaymoon019 | 28 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #5 | mikanJuice | 16 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Construction Site ASMR | +1.46 | 40 | 59 |
| #2 | sanik | +0.74 | 66 | 40 |
| #3 | jhaymoon019 | -0.53 | 59 | 55 |
| #4 | Copano Rickey | -2.18 | 48 | 52 |
| #5 | Kim Karrigan | -3.21 | 21 | 50 |





