








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
26 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 156 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 46 | 29% |
| Smokes | 37 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 25 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 48 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $19,200 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jhay Moon | 50% | 4 |
| #2 | Self Proclaimed Maid Enthusiast | 22% | 9 |
| #3 | gentrified notes | 17% | 6 |
| #4 | MAJ. Problem | 0% | 2 |
| #5 | Count Von Counterstrike | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Self Proclaimed Maid Enthusiast | 22% | 9 |
| #3 | gentrified notes | 17% | 6 |
| #4 | MAJ. Problem | 0% | 2 |
| #5 | Count Von Counterstrike | 0% | 3 |
| #6 | el hermano | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jhay Moon | 1 | 0.0132 |
| #2 | Count Von Counterstrike | 1 | 0.0189 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Self Proclaimed Maid Enthusiast | 15 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #2 | gentrified notes | 7 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #3 | Jhay Moon | 5 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #4 | Count Von Counterstrike | 5 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | el hermano | 2 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MAJ. Problem | +3.66 | 58 | 21 |
| #2 | Jhay Moon | +2.00 | 70 | 43 |
| #3 | Self Proclaimed Maid Enthusiast | -1.52 | 64 | 69 |
| #4 | gentrified notes | -3.05 | 77 | 55 |
| #5 | Count Von Counterstrike | -4.73 | 35 | 53 |





