








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 991 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4281 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,492 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2376 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2746 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1306 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2064 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,682,557 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Waluigi | 58% | 26 |
| #2 | Minor Problem | 54% | 26 |
| #3 | Self Proclaimed Maid Enthusiast | 53% | 120 |
| #4 | el hermano | 52% | 93 |
| #5 | alice | 50% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MAJ. Problem | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Self Proclaimed Maid Enthusiast | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | AlphaOwl | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | BotBobanomics | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | el hermano | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MAJ. Problem | 424 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #2 | Self Proclaimed Maid Enthusiast | 219 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | AlphaOwl | 177 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | el hermano | 159 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | Minor Problem | 99 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alice | +5.11 | 80 | 54 |
| #2 | AlphaOwl | +3.09 | 68 | 68 |
| #3 | Jhay Moon | +0.89 | 65 | 48 |
| #4 | Minor Problem | +0.62 | 38 | 50 |
| #5 | BotBobanomics | -0.10 | 63 | 54 |





