








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
69 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 163 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 59 | 36% |
| Smokes | 45 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 37 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 22 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $20,550 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MAJ. Problem | 38% | 8 |
| #2 | gentrified notes | 29% | 7 |
| #3 | Self Proclaimed Maid Enthusiast | 27% | 11 |
| #4 | el hermano | 25% | 12 |
| #5 | ParfaitOpGuide | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | gentrified notes | 29% | 7 |
| #3 | Self Proclaimed Maid Enthusiast | 27% | 11 |
| #4 | el hermano | 25% | 12 |
| #5 | ParfaitOpGuide | 0% | 2 |
| #6 | ♪Eveemaster♪ | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Self Proclaimed Maid Enthusiast | 1 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MAJ. Problem | 18 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #2 | gentrified notes | 13 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #3 | el hermano | 11 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #4 | Self Proclaimed Maid Enthusiast | 9 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | ♪Eveemaster♪ | 3 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gentrified notes | +1.39 | 87 | 56 |
| #2 | Self Proclaimed Maid Enthusiast | -0.17 | 50 | 56 |
| #3 | MAJ. Problem | -2.11 | 37 | 60 |
| #4 | el hermano | -2.28 | 56 | 46 |
| #5 | ParfaitOpGuide | -4.86 | 36 | 25 |





