








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 61 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
792 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,264 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1305 | 31% |
| Smokes | 840 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1058 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1061 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $341,206 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | klonk | 68% | 19 |
| #2 | beng0r | 50% | 26 |
| #3 | Zoddom | 50% | 44 |
| #4 | baulito | 48% | 27 |
| #5 | Black Elvis | 47% | 108 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Black Elvis | 9 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | guru | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #3 | baulito | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Black Elvis | 466 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #2 | guru | 407 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #3 | Zoddom | 219 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #4 | Weda | 128 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #5 | beng0r | 105 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | klonk | +5.54 | 86 | 68 |
| #2 | Black Elvis | +4.53 | 81 | 66 |
| #3 | guru | +1.87 | 71 | 74 |
| #4 | beng0r | +1.33 | 54 | 62 |
| #5 | Zoddom | +0.27 | 71 | 67 |





