








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1139 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 275 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Renown | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5613 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,963 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8248 | 36% |
| Smokes | 5854 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4658 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4203 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $879,437 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 158 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | atr4ik | 62% | 39 |
| #2 | gOCKEL | 61% | 41 |
| #3 | klonk | 54% | 59 |
| #4 | Black Elvis | 54% | 87 |
| #5 | guru | 51% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | AlphaJunker420 | 46% | 109 |
| #12 | Zoddom | 45% | 95 |
| #13 | N✪_mercy | 43% | 58 |
| #14 | DΞJAVUE | 41% | 39 |
| #15 | Fhydl4 | 25% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Madshot | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | AlphaJunker420 | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | N✪_mercy | 5 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Fhydl4 | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Black Elvis | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Black Elvis | 408 | 0.23 | 10 min |
| #2 | Zoddom | 401 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #3 | Weda | 366 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #4 | Madshot | 266 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #5 | guru | 193 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Black Elvis | +4.50 | 80 | 62 |
| #2 | klonk | +3.11 | 80 | 71 |
| #3 | atr4ik | +2.93 | 73 | 67 |
| #4 | guru | +2.19 | 71 | 74 |
| #5 | beng0r | +1.40 | 45 | 62 |





