








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 363 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 177 matches | ||
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2127 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,592 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2246 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2617 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1259 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2470 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $828,819 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | squiggy | 58% | 55 |
| #16 | virx1 | 57% | 21 |
| #17 | PlzMoar | 50% | 20 |
| #18 | kai | 43% | 23 |
| #19 | Xie | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ʜᴇᴀʟɴᴄʀᴜꜱʜ | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | konotoki | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | squiggy | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | mills | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Keago :) | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ʜᴇᴀʟɴᴄʀᴜꜱʜ | 358 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #2 | squiggy | 217 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #3 | konotoki | 215 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | sascha | 161 | 0.38 | 5 min |
| #5 | Clumsy | 146 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | donk | +3.62 | 89 | 58 |
| #2 | mills | +2.70 | 76 | 68 |
| #3 | minecraftmarco2008 | +2.60 | 88 | 63 |
| #4 | CLOUDZINO ♿ | +2.58 | 80 | 56 |
| #5 | ʜᴇᴀʟɴᴄʀᴜꜱʜ | +1.99 | 74 | 68 |





