








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 659 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 265 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3636 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,422 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4018 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3153 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3180 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3071 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,416,250 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 181 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Lukyluke2211 | 64% | 45 |
| #2 | Bane | 55% | 47 |
| #3 | Larry Lobster | 55% | 42 |
| #4 | Tesla | 52% | 31 |
| #5 | Autonom1c | 50% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | abgefunkt | 50% | 76 |
| #7 | lokhh | 49% | 140 |
| #8 | Philthyphil | 49% | 45 |
| #9 | ^FEEZ | 47% | 57 |
| #10 | Dazzler | 47% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lokhh | 29 | 0.0096 |
| #2 | abgefunkt | 24 | 0.0147 |
| #3 | Larry Lobster | 5 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | ^FEEZ | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Autonom1c | 3 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lokhh | 596 | 0.20 | 17 min |
| #2 | Dazzler | 140 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #3 | Autonom1c | 120 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | Philthyphil | 106 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Bane | 105 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dazzler | +3.42 | 73 | 69 |
| #2 | Autonom1c | +1.46 | 86 | 60 |
| #3 | abgefunkt | +1.24 | 73 | 37 |
| #4 | Lazer0 | +1.13 | 72 | 64 |
| #5 | ✪ Lukyluke2211 | +0.50 | 67 | 29 |





