








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1286 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 708 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 60 matches | ||
| Wingman | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




197 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8950 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 40,036 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13400 | 33% |
| Smokes | 10516 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 8541 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 7579 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,141,648 of utility $59 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 329 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Autonom1c | 51% | 117 |
| #2 | abgefunkt | 51% | 357 |
| #3 | Larry Lobster | 50% | 390 |
| #4 | Lazer0 | 49% | 140 |
| #5 | ygreg | 49% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | abgefunkt | 51% | 357 |
| #3 | Larry Lobster | 50% | 390 |
| #4 | Lazer0 | 49% | 140 |
| #5 | ygreg | 49% | 55 |
| #6 | ^FEEZ | 45% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | abgefunkt | 68 | 0.0093 |
| #2 | Larry Lobster | 50 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | Lazer0 | 12 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Autonom1c | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | ^FEEZ | 4 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lazer0 | 520 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #2 | Autonom1c | 403 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #3 | Larry Lobster | 376 | 0.05 | 10 min |
| #4 | abgefunkt | 197 | 0.03 | 5 min |
| #5 | ^FEEZ | 193 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | abgefunkt | +1.79 | 77 | 35 |
| #2 | Lazer0 | +0.96 | 72 | 62 |
| #3 | Autonom1c | +0.50 | 85 | 60 |
| #4 | Larry Lobster | +0.09 | 60 | 52 |
| #5 | lokhh | -0.07 | 63 | 69 |





