








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 29 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 70 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
782 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,308 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 847 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1051 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 905 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 505 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $283,778 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Its_ILooNeY | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | argon | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | NICCI ツ | 47% | 43 |
| #4 | Risāna | 46% | 26 |
| #5 | Raizye | 46% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Karik | 43% | 7 |
| #7 | ZODIACS cookie!*Skyr | 39% | 49 |
| #8 | Krypton | 38% | 29 |
| #9 | vEnStIe ★ | 33% | 6 |
| #10 | sp1d | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Risāna | 4 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | ZODIACS cookie!*Skyr | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Krypton | 106 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #2 | Raizye | 104 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | NICCI ツ | 88 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Risāna | 63 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | ZODIACS cookie!*Skyr | 49 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | argon | +3.76 | 75 | 76 |
| #2 | vEnStIe ★ | +1.30 | 76 | 61 |
| #3 | Raizye | +1.07 | 66 | 66 |
| #4 | Karik | +0.74 | 74 | 64 |
| #5 | Krypton | +0.42 | 69 | 60 |





