








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 382 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 599 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7389 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,227 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6040 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5274 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 6470 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 5443 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,878,172 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 386 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pedd | 58% | 45 |
| #2 | 〄Thick Bot〄 | 53% | 252 |
| #3 | DunkedOn | 50% | 408 |
| #4 | Sween | 49% | 186 |
| #5 | Evn^S | 48% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | 〄Thick Bot〄 | 53% | 252 |
| #3 | DunkedOn | 50% | 408 |
| #4 | Sween | 49% | 186 |
| #5 | Evn^S | 48% | 46 |
| #6 | grengo | 45% | 157 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 〄Thick Bot〄 | 53 | 0.0098 |
| #2 | DunkedOn | 34 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Sween | 12 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | grengo | 9 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Evn^S | 5 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sween | 886 | 0.22 | 22 min |
| #2 | 〄Thick Bot〄 | 731 | 0.14 | 18 min |
| #3 | DunkedOn | 462 | 0.05 | 9 min |
| #4 | grengo | 299 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #5 | Evn^S | 90 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 〄Thick Bot〄 | +1.11 | 69 | 64 |
| #2 | jarle | +1.07 | 60 | 70 |
| #3 | Sween | +0.43 | 62 | 59 |
| #4 | Evn^S | +0.17 | 78 | 43 |
| #5 | DunkedOn | -0.20 | 59 | 45 |





