








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 458 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 274 matches | ||
| Faceit | 48 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3918 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,618 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2635 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2825 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3927 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 3231 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,585,180 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 264 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CheesyDonut™ | 59% | 46 |
| #2 | popli | 57% | 96 |
| #3 | Isac | 56% | 63 |
| #4 | munch_kin | 55% | 67 |
| #5 | HULKK- | 54% | 194 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | L0neW0lf | 49% | 180 |
| #8 | Mitch | 48% | 25 |
| #9 | bober | 47% | 53 |
| #10 | tobzNTC | 40% | 45 |
| #11 | Adventska Wendler | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HULKK- | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | C4pt4in 0bvi0us | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Isac | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | L0neW0lf | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | popli | 3 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L0neW0lf | 674 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #2 | C4pt4in 0bvi0us | 446 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #3 | HULKK- | 406 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #4 | CheesyDonut™ | 327 | 0.33 | 8 min |
| #5 | popli | 122 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Raddix | +1.67 | 76 | 61 |
| #2 | Isac | +0.78 | 76 | 68 |
| #3 | HULKK- | +0.74 | 69 | 62 |
| #4 | CheesyDonut™ | +0.41 | 65 | 83 |
| #5 | L0neW0lf | -0.38 | 45 | 72 |





