










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 365 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1247 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,486 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 403 | 12% |
| Smokes | 878 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1252 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 953 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $827,327 of utility $247 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 153 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Яotari | 56% | 55 |
| #5 | f1Ne' | 56% | 9 |
| #6 | ✠ Uwe ist auch dabei ✠ | 54% | 114 |
| #7 | Udo | 52% | 66 |
| #8 | Süsi | 18% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✠ Uwe ist auch dabei ✠ | 8 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Testament78 | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Udo | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Яotari | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | raveN` | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Testament78 | 342 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #2 | raveN` | 226 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #3 | ✠ Uwe ist auch dabei ✠ | 205 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | Udo | 99 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | Яotari | 75 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fibus | +1.87 | 61 | 52 |
| #2 | raveN` | +1.70 | 75 | 71 |
| #3 | Яotari | +1.12 | 77 | 55 |
| #4 | ✠ Uwe ist auch dabei ✠ | +0.56 | 50 | 61 |
| #5 | f1Ne' | -0.14 | 45 | 57 |





