








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 20 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
724 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,054 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 400 | 19% |
| Smokes | 436 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 449 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 769 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $332,329 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 142 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Begre | 54% | 54 |
| #4 | ChuWuepz | 54% | 69 |
| #5 | NoobySoft | 52% | 63 |
| #6 | akerholten | 50% | 22 |
| #7 | Spurv | 50% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChuWuepz | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Spurv | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | NoobySoft | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Begre | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Rikk | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | akerholten | 154 | 0.35 | 4 min |
| #2 | ChuWuepz | 100 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | Rikk | 86 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | Spurv | 72 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Begre | 56 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rikk | +1.77 | 70 | 62 |
| #2 | ChuWuepz | +0.85 | 72 | 76 |
| #3 | akerholten | +0.74 | 44 | 82 |
| #4 | NoobySoft | +0.52 | 75 | 32 |
| #5 | Baha The Don | +0.01 | 59 | 53 |





