








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 123 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
987 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,695 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 407 | 24% |
| Smokes | 790 | 47% |
| HE Grenades | 417 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 81 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $591,859 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 108 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Baha The Don | 52% | 63 |
| #4 | ChuWuepz | 51% | 96 |
| #5 | Spurv | 50% | 109 |
| #6 | Begre | 48% | 60 |
| #7 | akerholten | 46% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChuWuepz | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Rikk | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Baha The Don | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | akerholten | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | akerholten | 265 | 0.31 | 8 min |
| #2 | ChuWuepz | 136 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | Spurv | 95 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | Baha The Don | 78 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Rikk | 78 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChuWuepz | +1.98 | 72 | 73 |
| #2 | NoobySoft | +1.09 | 68 | 32 |
| #3 | Rikk | +1.09 | 71 | 69 |
| #4 | Baha The Don | +0.39 | 59 | 53 |
| #5 | Begre | +0.03 | 46 | 54 |





