








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 83 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 77 matches | ||
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1287 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,103 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1025 | 25% |
| Smokes | 811 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1048 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1219 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $308,497 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 141 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ton | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | 1opal | 68% | 31 |
| #3 | jeev1e | 58% | 12 |
| #4 | Bread Head | 53% | 178 |
| #5 | Bobbet | 52% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bread Head | 17 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | 1opal | 10 | 0.0150 |
| #3 | Ton | 5 | 0.0138 |
| #4 | jeev1e | 4 | 0.0202 |
| #5 | ToFFy,,,,,,, | 3 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bread Head | 605 | 0.20 | 16 min |
| #2 | 1opal | 193 | 0.29 | 6 min |
| #3 | ToFFy,,,,,,, | 164 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | Ton | 49 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | Bobbet | 46 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1opal | +4.74 | 75 | 67 |
| #2 | Bread Head | +3.87 | 75 | 67 |
| #3 | Ton | +1.44 | 67 | 50 |
| #4 | ToFFy,,,,,,, | +0.45 | 83 | 56 |
| #5 | puffpastri | -0.22 | 65 | 51 |





