








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 457 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1854 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,067 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2769 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2358 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2142 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1798 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $543,825 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 236 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hulk | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | NilseerN | 63% | 27 |
| #3 | shinra | 60% | 15 |
| #4 | Solvoll | 53% | 32 |
| #5 | Smokier_ | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Zeny | 47% | 36 |
| #10 | sev | 42% | 12 |
| #11 | VOXEL | 38% | 13 |
| #12 | kos | 32% | 19 |
| #13 | AAA | 29% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Selfors | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | von1z | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Solvoll | 3 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | Zeny | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | NilseerN | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | von1z | 116 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #2 | Selfors | 115 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | Zeny | 115 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | pog | 100 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #5 | Solvoll | 95 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hulk | +2.37 | 87 | 50 |
| #2 | von1z | +2.17 | 69 | 71 |
| #3 | VOXEL | +1.08 | 71 | 74 |
| #4 | NilseerN | +0.84 | 72 | 75 |
| #5 | shinra | +0.76 | 75 | 75 |





