








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 609 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 437 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4577 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,265 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4115 | 18% |
| Smokes | 6979 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 6124 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 5047 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,244,083 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1497 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -_skill issue | 54% | 28 |
| #2 | bilbo.- | 51% | 74 |
| #3 | M1CHAL16 | 50% | 80 |
| #4 | HARALD | 49% | 292 |
| #5 | Taskmanager | 49% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HARALD | 10 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Krosso | 9 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | KatzederHund | 9 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Bruno el Perro | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Taskmanager | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HARALD | 586 | 0.09 | 18 min |
| #2 | Krosso | 410 | 0.06 | 12 min |
| #3 | KatzederHund | 391 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #4 | bilbo.- | 291 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #5 | Taskmanager | 264 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bilbo.- | +2.48 | 88 | 75 |
| #2 | Gh0sT | +0.76 | 73 | 70 |
| #3 | __SiXa* | +0.11 | 78 | 59 |
| #4 | HARALD | +0.03 | 58 | 79 |
| #5 | M1CHAL16 | +0.02 | 64 | 68 |





